Monday, February 14, 2011

Has Anyone Seen My Cape?

I drive some of my closest friends crazy because I constantly say that I don’t have a personality. I am the queen of assimilation. I am a chameleon. My ability to adapt to my surroundings is so acute that I usually don’t even realize I’m doing it. To an alarming extent, I pick up the traits of the people I am most frequently around. As an artist, this has been the foundation for a battle for my artistic identity. When I sing, I imitate the singer I have been listening to most recently. Imitation is often talked of as a positive thing in a learning environment, however for me, I have found it to be a source of confusion as I have sought to find my literal voice. When I write, I write like the people I have been reading. When I create film ideas, I see images that bear the mark of the directors I have been watching.

I loved the ideas about superhero dress in both “Super” and “Wonder.” In the latter, phrases such as “the authentic self,” “celebrate freakishness,” and “branding of the flesh,” stuck out to me. I am intrigued by the idea that these characters are the most honest when they are in the least acceptable attire. When I am assimilating, I am Clark Kent. So who is my superman? What is the purest form of my identity? I’m not sure I know. I know God, and I know my relationship to God. And I suppose if I am going to use a word like “purest,” that is the root to which I must turn. But what is the trunk? What are the branches? I think I am discovering this every day. I hope I never completely know the answer. A substantial portion of my relationship with art is using it as a mechanism for answering this question. So even though I have a subconscious tendency to imitate, I also am on a journey of self discovery that—piece by piece—uncovers my superhero logo.

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